Words with Enemies
Part of the reason that I enjoy writing today is because of Anthony Bourdain. (If you do not know who he is... go away. Just leave. This will all be lost on you.) His book, Kitchen Confidential shook my foundations mightily when I first read it. I was amazed at how much Anthony and I had in common reading that masterpiece.
Like me, Tony (friends and philes call him that...) is an immense a-hole. Our creativity in slander and prose in profanity are very similar. We use our words to mock what you revere and hold most precious. His ire is directed towards the areas of food and music, mine towards people's behavior. Collectively we also do not care what you think. Your opinion is neither sacred nor untouchable. We reserve the right the challenge your words, thoughts and actions. We are kindred spirits.
Which is why I am sad to say that he would probably despise me very much right now. He hates vegans. Hates them. To him, vegans are food. In his world view no one should ever cow to their terrorist demands. No restaurant should have to consider their feelings or thoughts or bend to their will. He would hate me the most because I have always been such a staunch carnivore. I know the glory and the majesty of crispy pork products. I can define the texture of the word 'succulent'. I like Scotch Eggs, Bacon-wrapped scallops, the KFC Double Down and the Meat'normous sandwich. I am... Eggs Benedict Arnold.
“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans ... are the
enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit.” ― Anthony Bourdain
Part of the reason that I enjoy writing today is because of Anthony Bourdain. (If you do not know who he is... go away. Just leave. This will all be lost on you.) His book, Kitchen Confidential shook my foundations mightily when I first read it. I was amazed at how much Anthony and I had in common reading that masterpiece.
Like me, Tony (friends and philes call him that...) is an immense a-hole. Our creativity in slander and prose in profanity are very similar. We use our words to mock what you revere and hold most precious. His ire is directed towards the areas of food and music, mine towards people's behavior. Collectively we also do not care what you think. Your opinion is neither sacred nor untouchable. We reserve the right the challenge your words, thoughts and actions. We are kindred spirits.
Which is why I am sad to say that he would probably despise me very much right now. He hates vegans. Hates them. To him, vegans are food. In his world view no one should ever cow to their terrorist demands. No restaurant should have to consider their feelings or thoughts or bend to their will. He would hate me the most because I have always been such a staunch carnivore. I know the glory and the majesty of crispy pork products. I can define the texture of the word 'succulent'. I like Scotch Eggs, Bacon-wrapped scallops, the KFC Double Down and the Meat'normous sandwich. I am... Eggs Benedict Arnold.
I want to imagine that he would see me for the spy I am. The imposter, the truth seeker, the gatherer of information to use against the Vegan-ocracy. I want to be cool like him, with a v-neck sweater and a black leather coat. I want to be cool with him. I'm probably not though...
I sent Anthony Bourdain an email last night, we'll see if he responds.
Vox Vegan: Word on Vegans
enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit.” ― Anthony Bourdain
Chris loves Anthony Bourdain as much as you do! I hope he responds to your email and I hope you find your "information to use against the Vegan-ocracy" (cool word, I hope you just made it up!). Good luck in your endeavors, I am enjoying your blog!
ReplyDeleteI love Anthony Bourdain!! That man loves food. ps. I want to cook something delicious and vegan for you and Gel. I already make a great vegan granola.
ReplyDelete