Food Place

Mythology vs Reality

Perhaps I was setting myself up. I half expected to arrive at Common Market to see that the parking lot was full of grass instead of asphalt. I was expecting to see druids, in traditional hempen robes, performing some sort of sun ritual in the cart return. And I thought that surely everyone would have ridden there, bareback, astride a unicorn or a pegasus.

I saw none of that. The parking lot was asphalt, the cart return was strewn with randomly thrown carts and there were hybrid cars instead of... well, hybrid animals.

I have friends that work there, so I had been inside before. In those earlier visits I kept my eyes to floor and quietly minded my own business. I had no place there at those times and the other customers knew it...

This time was different. I was supposed to be there. I had a good damn reason to be there and if I had to sum up the whole experience in one phrase.

"It's just a grocery store."

Walking in you see a familiar sight, a produce section. A very small produce section. Common Market's produce section has the same amount of floor space as a British phone box. No matter where I stood, no matter where the cart was, I was in the way. Small, aggravated looking women with Bluetooth ear pieces and shopping agendas hated my presence in their shoe box sized store. I was getting looks from everyone, but then, I always do.

I went with my loving mother and we met up with a friend of mine who works there. As soon as they got together, I was no longer the driving force of the expedition. I was a passenger. Which is NOT a bad thing, it's just a question of expertise.

Then came the questions. I was asked a question about every product in the store from both of my fellow shoppers. 

"What's your favorite kind of apple?"

"What's your favorite kind of nut?"

"Do you think you would drink Soy Milk?"

"Are you allowed to have ~ in your diet?"

"Is unicorn meat vegan?" (I would argue that it is...)

My head was swimming in new information and I felt the brain matter coming out of my ears.

I missed 90% of what was presented to me, I know it. It's too much for one person to learn in such a short, crowded amount of time. There were just too many options.

Here's another thing, there was always someone behind you, watching you. Some old lady waiting for you to move so she can grab those prunes, or some overly-pierced well-manicured man waiting for you to move so he can grab some goat's milk yogurt. I was reminded of the odd mixture of people you might see at Wal-Mart.

By the end of our time there... which could have been days or minutes, I can't tell... Our cart was full of food. Food I didn't even need to think about. food that I wanted to eat. I must have had low blood sugar or something, because at the end there, I got a little shaky and needed a sandwich... Or perhaps I was having a seizure... I'm not sure.

Honestly, it was just a stop at the supermarket. But, it was like a supermarket on the moon.

What would Koko the ape call Common Market? Food Place. Because that's what it is, nothing more.

Although, as far as choice goes, this place is full of edible vegan food selections.

Interesting Side Note: To tell the truth, I thought there would be a wider variety in vegan food. Molecular Gastronomy + Vegan Food + Willy Wonka + Mad Scientists + Time =... Soy Juice? Vegans can do better than that. Maybe they need some meat in their system to give them the necessary creative bloodthirst.