Jumpin' Jack Flash it's a _ _ _, _ _ _, _ _ _!

un-Scat

I promised that I would would not use this blog to only describe bowel movements. That would be uncool and against everything I stand for. Poop.

There is one item of note from my travels today that starts with a soup and end with grumbles.

Last night Becky made an amazing Garlic Soup. It's uh... a bunch of non-meats and non-dairys.. .and a shit-load of Garlic (Yes, Garlic gets a capital G for being a wonder food.). One thing I was hoping to uncover this month was to, by omission, determine just what makes my body work, what makes it squeak and what makes it wail.

For instance... which food gives me a tremendous amounts of gas? When you devour the entire the spectrum of food in a single day, it is impossible to tell.

• Which food makes my stomach hurt?
• Which food gives me a headache?
• Which food gives me the worst indigestion? 

I know now that it is either red onion or Garlic, both present in the soup, that give me gas. And from the amount of bloating I had today I will have to point directly to garlic as a culprit. My stomach was making so much noise that my coworkers noticed. It was embarrassing. I wasn't farting.. just... gurgling.

Let's check the internet....

Garlic, and its cousins the leek and onion, are high in inulin, a pro-biotic soluble fiber in the form of a fructose polymer that is indigestible by the human starch enzymes amylase and ptyalin; it passes straight through the human digestive system, unless digested by something else along the way. if it is digested by bacteria in the colon, gases such as carbon dioxide, methane and hydrogen may be produced as a result.

Many cultures that ingest large quantities of onion, leek and garlic report that these spices cause gas. it is possible that their unique gut bacteria cultures are digesting the inulin that human digestive enzymes leave behind, promoting their growth and causing gas as a byproduct.

So, I'm not super crazy after all. I have never been a Garlic fan (not a huge one). My wife loves it and put it in everything culturally acceptable. I can now tell my wife of the misery my bloating gaseous body caused me today. 

Don't Shit Where You Work.

Literally, words to live by. It will also be the title of my first published book. (As of yet to be written.)

I broke that rule today. 

Mediterranean Thrill

I went out with some truly amazing people after work tonight. My excellent friends, the Goods. (Poorly named, should have been the Awesomes) They are staunch supporters of me becoming vegan, even if they don't yet fully understand my reasons. I got to spend time with them and go out to dinner.

Until tonight I had not gone out to dinner as a vegan. The prospect of it is terrifying. It was suggested that we go to the Mediterranean Grill by Bethany Good, who knew that of all the possible restaurants, this one had the highest likelihood of vegan friendly cuisine. 

She was totally right. There wasn't just one vegan dish, like you might find at some restaurants, there were at least a dozen options. 

I started off with their vegetarian fare and had them strip out the offending bits. Greek Salad? Sure, no feta. 

For the first time in my life I had to ask for the dressing on the side because I was not completely sure what it contained. 

I had some falafel. 

I ate like a human being, I was able to enjoy my company and catch up with some friends. It was an amazing night. I have half a falafel for later because I was super full earlier. Full!

So, being vegan doesn't suck all the time. Just most of the time. 

Interesting Side Note: If you go to McDonalds and ask for the Vegan option they hand you a map to a farmers market. 

Tomorrow is Common Market.. I'm nervous.