Fon-Don't!
*Adam walks over to the dusty Crosby record player and opens the lid. He slides the switch to the right and the interior lights up. He bends down, slides out the milk crate full of records from the bottom of the cabinet, and picks one out. He slides the record from it's sleeve and examines it's well-worn groves. He slides the disc onto the chrome spindle and sets the platter speed to 33 1/3 rpms. For a moment he is mesmerized by its spinning dance. Not so much because of how it twirls, throwing light in hundred of directions, but for what playing it represents.*
*From his back pocket, Adam retrieves a single golden dollar. He slides the coin into it's place on the back of the needle's cartridge and swings the arm over till it is just above the record's surface. He exhales deeply in unison with the first pops, hisses and crackles as the needles finds it's home. He retreats a few steps, as the music begins, and takes a seat in his least favorite chair. He unfolds a piece of yellow legal pad paper and clears his throat.*
(If you want to play ahead at home, here's a link to the song he's listening to as he reads the following aloud to himself. YouTube - Department Of Eagles - No One Does It Like You.)
Dear Cheese,
No, that won't do.
Dear Cheese, whom I love above all others.
Our love has always been true. It has never wavered. Even when times were though I could always count on you to be there for me. And I hope you know that I have always been there for you as well. I've defended you, even when people said bad things about you or called you names. If someone were to call you 'stinky' or 'runny' or 'grainy' or 'cheap' I would always be the first person to stick up for you. What those people didn't know is that you are complex and artisanal. They chose to see only your outside.
I've tried to include you in everything I've done. You have always been my constant companion and always my first choice. People often thought it strange when I would introduce you into situations where you didn't seem to fit. Only to apologize later when they realized, I was right.
I would take you any way I could get you. When other people either didn't know you or didn't like you I would be the first to volunteer to take you off their hands.
I know everything about you, but would be surprised everyday to find something new. It's like I was meeting you every day for the first time. And yes, it was love.
You have a strange power over me. Which is what makes this so much harder. For you see...
I must leave you.
Interesting Side Note: Vegan Cheese is pretty goddamn good.
*Adam walks over to the dusty Crosby record player and opens the lid. He slides the switch to the right and the interior lights up. He bends down, slides out the milk crate full of records from the bottom of the cabinet, and picks one out. He slides the record from it's sleeve and examines it's well-worn groves. He slides the disc onto the chrome spindle and sets the platter speed to 33 1/3 rpms. For a moment he is mesmerized by its spinning dance. Not so much because of how it twirls, throwing light in hundred of directions, but for what playing it represents.*
*From his back pocket, Adam retrieves a single golden dollar. He slides the coin into it's place on the back of the needle's cartridge and swings the arm over till it is just above the record's surface. He exhales deeply in unison with the first pops, hisses and crackles as the needles finds it's home. He retreats a few steps, as the music begins, and takes a seat in his least favorite chair. He unfolds a piece of yellow legal pad paper and clears his throat.*
(If you want to play ahead at home, here's a link to the song he's listening to as he reads the following aloud to himself. YouTube - Department Of Eagles - No One Does It Like You.)
Dear Cheese,
No, that won't do.
Dear Cheese, whom I love above all others.
Our love has always been true. It has never wavered. Even when times were though I could always count on you to be there for me. And I hope you know that I have always been there for you as well. I've defended you, even when people said bad things about you or called you names. If someone were to call you 'stinky' or 'runny' or 'grainy' or 'cheap' I would always be the first person to stick up for you. What those people didn't know is that you are complex and artisanal. They chose to see only your outside.
I've tried to include you in everything I've done. You have always been my constant companion and always my first choice. People often thought it strange when I would introduce you into situations where you didn't seem to fit. Only to apologize later when they realized, I was right.
I would take you any way I could get you. When other people either didn't know you or didn't like you I would be the first to volunteer to take you off their hands.
I know everything about you, but would be surprised everyday to find something new. It's like I was meeting you every day for the first time. And yes, it was love.
You have a strange power over me. Which is what makes this so much harder. For you see...
I must leave you.
You are killing me. You're no good for me. You are wax-coated poison. You are the medicine that makes me sicker. This is a bad relationship.
It is precisely that you are my first choice and first thought that I have to go. With your enticing and sharp personality, I find that I have been putting you above what should be my most important thing in the world. Myself.
I must stop thinking about you and start thinking about me. You don't always make things 'better', because most of the time you makes things worse for my health. You are the killer we pray for and don't even know it.
I did not become a vegan to get rid of you, I become a vegan to become a better me.
I have not, for a moment, forget you... Forgotten the touch of you and smell and the taste. Nothing in my universe was as ubiquitous as you. Nothing made this choice I made as hard as leaving you. But I hope you can see the reasons why I did it. Why it had to be done. There are a lot of things that I would have no trouble doing without, and it is because I could not fathom walking away from us that I had to.
My heart, though healthier, is broken without you. But, fuck you for killing me slowly.
I hope you have some place, small though it may be, in my future. But you will have to change before that ever happens.
Always thinking of you, but not on your behalf,
Adam
*The song ends. Adam stares blankly for a few moments as he finishes his speech, aware that the needle is clicking. After a moment, he refolds the paper, stands and goes over to the record player. He performs the same procedures as before, only in reverse. *
*As he closes the lid on the record player, a single tear splatters off of it. *
It is precisely that you are my first choice and first thought that I have to go. With your enticing and sharp personality, I find that I have been putting you above what should be my most important thing in the world. Myself.
I must stop thinking about you and start thinking about me. You don't always make things 'better', because most of the time you makes things worse for my health. You are the killer we pray for and don't even know it.
I did not become a vegan to get rid of you, I become a vegan to become a better me.
I have not, for a moment, forget you... Forgotten the touch of you and smell and the taste. Nothing in my universe was as ubiquitous as you. Nothing made this choice I made as hard as leaving you. But I hope you can see the reasons why I did it. Why it had to be done. There are a lot of things that I would have no trouble doing without, and it is because I could not fathom walking away from us that I had to.
My heart, though healthier, is broken without you. But, fuck you for killing me slowly.
I hope you have some place, small though it may be, in my future. But you will have to change before that ever happens.
Always thinking of you, but not on your behalf,
Adam
*The song ends. Adam stares blankly for a few moments as he finishes his speech, aware that the needle is clicking. After a moment, he refolds the paper, stands and goes over to the record player. He performs the same procedures as before, only in reverse. *
*As he closes the lid on the record player, a single tear splatters off of it. *
Interesting Side Note: Vegan Cheese is pretty goddamn good.
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