Bringing a vegan to a wife fight...
Typically, my wonderful wife Becky does the grocery shopping all by her lonesome. We tried multiple times in the past to shop together without any success. I shop very slow, she shops very quickly. She brings a list, I'm less of a control freak... Anyway, for the sake of our marriage I have always just let her do it. She's the one with the dietary restrictions because of her life style and what-not.
Well, I can't do that anymore. I have to go.
I knew we would bicker, but it really wasn't that bad. I think that we both have a sense of exploration that has allowed us to be more open. Even so, it did manifest a little bit on the car ride over. It was only 1:00pm and together we had no plans till 4:00pm when she was going to workout with the sisters. I had ample time to shop.
She told me I have one hour.
One hour is not enough time for me to do anything. (It took me 61 minutes to write this blog entry.) I imagined trying to read the labels on ten thousand products in an hour. Realizing it was fruitless I countered with three hours. (Even that was not nearly enough.)
We compromised on an hour and a half.
Being a vegan means I fight with my wife less. Suck on that egg-suckers!
The Belly of the Beast...
I had a plan once inside. I was going to look for four separate things.
I needed a delicious caffeine free beverage. I needed a morning snack, I needed fat-kid snack food and I needed to locate and purchase vegan stuff that Becky was not going to buy anyway.
Sierra Mist Natural - Because Sprite sucks balls. It was a toss up between the two. They were identically priced, so it all comes down to flavor. I prefer Pepsi products over Coke products. It's really good.
Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars Peanut Butter - I could always just eat dry cereal. Most cereal is vegan. I think I would miss milk too much to try it. I can take these bars to work. This was the 18th box I looked at and had to read the label several times....
In fact, that's something I noticed. I have to read labels multiple times. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient when I look at labels. I think it's got to be because when I am looking at labels I am trying to eliminate so many damn products.
Fritos - This is honest to go fat kid food. I was unaware of how Vegan this is... It goes something like this... INGREDIENTS: Whole Corn, Corn Oil, and Salt. Also on this list... Most varieties of chips and salsa... CHIPS AND SALSA!
Black Beans, Split Peas, Chick Peas, Red (Kidney) Beans - The whole orchestra. Becky's never been a bean fan.
I took all my loot and threw it into our cart. It was a short visit and I knew I would not get the time I wanted. This was my first foray into the real world, since emerging from my vegan cocoon. I looked around in wide-eyed wonder as I strolled the aisles. A couple of truths, universal truths, came flying in my face...
Everything I used to eat contained meat or meat by products.
I never realized how few options a vegan had.
There's Whey and Honey in EVERYTHING!
It was a bit too much to take. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even scratch the surface of the store and I know I missed thirty awesome vegan things... I'll have plenty of opportunity to inspect more as time goes by.
The Happy Bits... CHIPS AND SALSA!!!!
Typically, my wonderful wife Becky does the grocery shopping all by her lonesome. We tried multiple times in the past to shop together without any success. I shop very slow, she shops very quickly. She brings a list, I'm less of a control freak... Anyway, for the sake of our marriage I have always just let her do it. She's the one with the dietary restrictions because of her life style and what-not.
Well, I can't do that anymore. I have to go.
I knew we would bicker, but it really wasn't that bad. I think that we both have a sense of exploration that has allowed us to be more open. Even so, it did manifest a little bit on the car ride over. It was only 1:00pm and together we had no plans till 4:00pm when she was going to workout with the sisters. I had ample time to shop.
She told me I have one hour.
One hour is not enough time for me to do anything. (It took me 61 minutes to write this blog entry.) I imagined trying to read the labels on ten thousand products in an hour. Realizing it was fruitless I countered with three hours. (Even that was not nearly enough.)
We compromised on an hour and a half.
Being a vegan means I fight with my wife less. Suck on that egg-suckers!
The Belly of the Beast...
I had a plan once inside. I was going to look for four separate things.
I needed a delicious caffeine free beverage. I needed a morning snack, I needed fat-kid snack food and I needed to locate and purchase vegan stuff that Becky was not going to buy anyway.
Sierra Mist Natural - Because Sprite sucks balls. It was a toss up between the two. They were identically priced, so it all comes down to flavor. I prefer Pepsi products over Coke products. It's really good.
Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars Peanut Butter - I could always just eat dry cereal. Most cereal is vegan. I think I would miss milk too much to try it. I can take these bars to work. This was the 18th box I looked at and had to read the label several times....
In fact, that's something I noticed. I have to read labels multiple times. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient when I look at labels. I think it's got to be because when I am looking at labels I am trying to eliminate so many damn products.
Fritos - This is honest to go fat kid food. I was unaware of how Vegan this is... It goes something like this... INGREDIENTS: Whole Corn, Corn Oil, and Salt. Also on this list... Most varieties of chips and salsa... CHIPS AND SALSA!
Black Beans, Split Peas, Chick Peas, Red (Kidney) Beans - The whole orchestra. Becky's never been a bean fan.
I took all my loot and threw it into our cart. It was a short visit and I knew I would not get the time I wanted. This was my first foray into the real world, since emerging from my vegan cocoon. I looked around in wide-eyed wonder as I strolled the aisles. A couple of truths, universal truths, came flying in my face...
Everything I used to eat contained meat or meat by products.
I never realized how few options a vegan had.
There's Whey and Honey in EVERYTHING!
It was a bit too much to take. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even scratch the surface of the store and I know I missed thirty awesome vegan things... I'll have plenty of opportunity to inspect more as time goes by.
The Happy Bits... CHIPS AND SALSA!!!!
Adam, it's Brandoom. I've lived with a few vegan's at times...i can find some good cook books for you if you don't have any yet? & THEPPK.com is an ALL Vegan site..check it out..and I know that the common market and Wegman's have a lot of ingredients for Vegan living! I like the blog...i think i want to start one for a whole group of us to discuss SPACE the final frontier and SCI-FI stuff..every realm! good blog cuz!! -Brandon
ReplyDeleteBradon, Thank you. I appreciate you leaving a comment here.
ReplyDeleteThe Post Punk Kitchen (www.theppk.com) is what-the-fuck amazing. I just lost an hour of my life taking tips and hints and tricks (not to mention recipes for the mrs.) from that site. An excellent find and an absolute recommendation from me. (I should develop a recommendation scale...)
My good friend Bethany and several other loose acquaintances work at Common Market and have already offered to show me around. There is a bit of an invisible velvet rope I need to cross, but I have now been invited. These are some good folks and they would not steer me wrong. I think that they now know that I will not mock their endeavors.
Common Market seems excellent, I just have this impression that a lot of people that shop there are rather... common? Not that Giant Eagle shoppers are a Petri dish full of mouth breathers, but I have always felt more... crazy coming out of the Common Market doors.
People who write squirrel diaries and save their feces... you know what I mean.
If you blog about Sci-Fi I will contribute regularly. It is a fascinating topic, I love the shows, the films, the books... Time to let my nerd flag fly.
Don't put any meat in your face,
Adam
When Jeff and I were in Frederick, we shopped at the Common Market often. However, it did takes us awhile to build up the nerve to go in.
ReplyDeleteI think we seemed kind of out-of-place, but they are a great group of people with plenty of awesome (oh snap, I said it too...) recommendations on the products they carry.
PS - You can't go wrong by anything from Isa Chandra Moskowitz. She rocks - we made her Mexican Hot Chocolate Snickerdoodles back in '10 and I still remember how good they came out.
Hey Adam, you can come to the market anytime! If you want to eat cereal with milk, there are plenty of vegan milks out there. My favorite is almond milk, there is also rice milk, hemp milk, and oat milk. i would be happy to let you try my almond milk next time I see you.
ReplyDelete