There is an idiom that goes something like this... "He was unreliable, he was always chasing rainbows." What it means is that he was always chasing something he could never attain. A rainbow is unreachable, you can't touch it, and you'll never reach it- both metaphorically and scientifically.
I caught the fucking rainbow and I am now "over the rainbow" and living a life I could have never imagined. The cliche which spawned the idiom is in fact quite true for me. I was once in the dimly lit black and white world, and now I find myself in living technicolor.
I'm married now to a someone different than before, someone who honestly cares for me as a person- someone for whom I can be completely honest. I don't hold anything back, I am not living two or three different lives, hoping that one of them is acceptable. I have one life, one path, and one person who has chosen to walk along side me.
And all of that would be well enough, but there is more. I'm weeks away from achieving something I once thought was beyond me. My wife is delightfully pregnant and I am going to be a father to my own newborn baby. When I met my wife, she had a young son, who quickly became my own. I cannot claim that when my wife delivers our kid, that it will be my first, because we already share one. No, this is something new to me, something new that I NEVER thought was going to happen. If you had asked me a few years back if I was ever going to become a dad, I would have said no, and I would have placed that thought right up there with becoming an astronaut or getting a masters degree.
It turns out that there are munchkins in Munchkin Land.
But things on this side of the rainbow are strange. Not bad strange, but strange. My wife's pregnancy has been calm and easy, and there have only been a very few, manageable bumps in the road- all of which are consistent with have children in your 30s. It's the world we are living in that has made this journey a strange one. I'm not speaking vague generalities either. People say that they are unsure about having a baby because of the economy, or because of world politics, or because of a career transition... no, I'm not talking about any of that. I might have been concerned about finances, or war, or presidential fuckery, but that was before the very real specter of a global pandemic flew in from far west of here.
I think of the COVID-19 virus as the Wicked Witch of the West
There are several rituals, events, and traditions which revolve around pregnancy that we have been forced to forgo, because of the global pandemic. By the time the shit hit the fan, my wife was already seven months pregnant, and we had already been planning all of the next few months... When the shelter in place order and the social distancing orders were issued, we had to give it all up. That meant, no baby shower, no family visits, no friend visits, no bribing the tribe to get the baby's room finished, none of it.
Surrender Dorothy!
I feel a bit robbed, and I am sure my wife feels the same. We still have delivery to look forward to, but even that sounds like a daunting proposition. No visitors, except for me. Not even our son can come and visit his baby sibling. The hospital has also decided to limit the amount of time a newborn and mother spend in the hospital- knowing that the hospital is worst place for them during a pandemic. I don't criticize the hospital for their limitations, nor do I shun the family members and friends that are doing us a huge favor by staying away. I suppose I have the same great and powerful wish as anyone would in these times- that the virus go away and never come back.
I never thought that I'd be living my merry-old-land-of-Oz life, and I never knew it could happen so quickly. I never imagined getting everything I ever wanted, and I certainly never imagined it happening in this truly bizarre way. It's like winning a million dollars in dimes.
But I can tell you this.. I am never going to click the heels on my ruby slippers. I'm never going back to Kansas, back to the black and white world, not even in my dreams. Life is different now, better, and not even a global super virus can dim these colors.
I caught the fucking rainbow and I am now "over the rainbow" and living a life I could have never imagined. The cliche which spawned the idiom is in fact quite true for me. I was once in the dimly lit black and white world, and now I find myself in living technicolor.
I'm married now to a someone different than before, someone who honestly cares for me as a person- someone for whom I can be completely honest. I don't hold anything back, I am not living two or three different lives, hoping that one of them is acceptable. I have one life, one path, and one person who has chosen to walk along side me.
And all of that would be well enough, but there is more. I'm weeks away from achieving something I once thought was beyond me. My wife is delightfully pregnant and I am going to be a father to my own newborn baby. When I met my wife, she had a young son, who quickly became my own. I cannot claim that when my wife delivers our kid, that it will be my first, because we already share one. No, this is something new to me, something new that I NEVER thought was going to happen. If you had asked me a few years back if I was ever going to become a dad, I would have said no, and I would have placed that thought right up there with becoming an astronaut or getting a masters degree.
It turns out that there are munchkins in Munchkin Land.
But things on this side of the rainbow are strange. Not bad strange, but strange. My wife's pregnancy has been calm and easy, and there have only been a very few, manageable bumps in the road- all of which are consistent with have children in your 30s. It's the world we are living in that has made this journey a strange one. I'm not speaking vague generalities either. People say that they are unsure about having a baby because of the economy, or because of world politics, or because of a career transition... no, I'm not talking about any of that. I might have been concerned about finances, or war, or presidential fuckery, but that was before the very real specter of a global pandemic flew in from far west of here.
I think of the COVID-19 virus as the Wicked Witch of the West
There are several rituals, events, and traditions which revolve around pregnancy that we have been forced to forgo, because of the global pandemic. By the time the shit hit the fan, my wife was already seven months pregnant, and we had already been planning all of the next few months... When the shelter in place order and the social distancing orders were issued, we had to give it all up. That meant, no baby shower, no family visits, no friend visits, no bribing the tribe to get the baby's room finished, none of it.
Surrender Dorothy!
I feel a bit robbed, and I am sure my wife feels the same. We still have delivery to look forward to, but even that sounds like a daunting proposition. No visitors, except for me. Not even our son can come and visit his baby sibling. The hospital has also decided to limit the amount of time a newborn and mother spend in the hospital- knowing that the hospital is worst place for them during a pandemic. I don't criticize the hospital for their limitations, nor do I shun the family members and friends that are doing us a huge favor by staying away. I suppose I have the same great and powerful wish as anyone would in these times- that the virus go away and never come back.
I never thought that I'd be living my merry-old-land-of-Oz life, and I never knew it could happen so quickly. I never imagined getting everything I ever wanted, and I certainly never imagined it happening in this truly bizarre way. It's like winning a million dollars in dimes.
But I can tell you this.. I am never going to click the heels on my ruby slippers. I'm never going back to Kansas, back to the black and white world, not even in my dreams. Life is different now, better, and not even a global super virus can dim these colors.
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